Archive for the C'est la vie! Category

Disciplinary duty

Posted in C'est la vie! with tags on April 23, 2010 by shava

Mon Cher Frere Fransoir,

Oh, I would be beside myself if I were not so bored!  I can not write Maman or Marsel, because they would wag fingers at me, but I can tell you, and you will just laugh.

So, I am in the pleasure hub, off duty, in this station in the Caldari border zone.  A girl must eat!  And they say, “Oh, there is this wonderful place, you will find it, all the pilots go there — the vegetables are flown up fresh!”  So I think, “This is where I must eat.”  And you know, it is by the port, and there is everyone doing everything there, but the food is good, hien?

So this big hulk, a Caldari pilot, comes up to me and he is drunk I think, or on some odd gas cloud concoction heavens only know, and he is saying, “Look, we have a new Gallente whore.  Kinky, she’s in uniform!”  So what am I meant to do in this case?

Well, first, I size him up, and I am rubbing the back of my neck, you know, so he notices I am a capsuleer, and need fear nothing (or, so most people think!).  And his friends see this, and start muttering, like he’s gotten himself in trouble, and I think “Ah, now he will back down, and it’s nothing.”  But no luck!  He gets his back up, he is really mad now, and he doesn’t want to look bad in front of his friends.

And I say, “Mon vieux, there is no need for us to fight.  Everyone knows Caldari pilots can’t see well enough to shoot — that’s why you use missles so much.  It is no harm you can’t tell me from your half-sister.”

Maybe this was not the best thing to say to make peace.

Well, so it is a fight, nothing for it.  And I did well, but after this young Caldari was doing badly, his friends took pity, and there were five to my one then.  I fight strong and fast and dirty, but they are five military men with some training, and as strong and fast and dirty as I fight I know better than to fight with weapons here with Concord nearby (so where are they when I need them?).

So later, one of the girls is cleaning me up, and I got a plate of fresh pommes frites (tell that to Marcel but nothing else!).  And so that is all fine, I was not hurt so badly, but I am bruised on my face, and there’s no hiding that when I go home.

So, the CO, he is not so pleased with my small skirmish (even less when he asked me who came out on top!) and he says I obviously need to cool down a little, so he’s sending me on a week’s vacation in Halle.  I’m thinking, “Vacation?  I lose a fight and break discipline and he’s sending me to vacation?”

So, he takes me to a terminal and says, “First we are going to get you a few things to pack for your trip.  You like the Caldari ships, probably better than you like their pilots, so I have just the thing.”  And he is spending my money, and buying me all these things in Dodixie, and a shuttle here, and sends me off to pick up a Badger (oh, it is such a big slow slug of a ship!) and a Navitas (which, you know, is just a small mining shuttle) and sends me off to “mine and meditate” for a week!

Oh, and it is so long to mine with a little laser, and I am in these fields with real miners with monstrous huge barges, eating the rocks from around me.  And every so often, I scoop rocks from my hold into the can, and every so often, I run to the station and fetch my fat ugly Badger and haul the rocks back.  And I am no good at that, and the CO sets me goals for my minerals, and I am no refining technician, so I must work harder.

So it is my third day.  I am just about halfway through my vacation.  And for several days, I would not tell anyone, but today I was listening to that music compilation you sent last, and thought of you, and how you would laugh at me.  And first, I was angry that you’d laugh, and now, I think I am laughing to.

It was good to write it down.  I feel so much better — I am sure already that the last half of the week will be faster than the first half!  And I can feel your laugh in the music you sent me — send me more!  You are close to me when I listen to it.

But do not tell Marsel and Maman, or I will skin you alive when I am home next!

Your loving sister,


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Jean, mon cher,…

Posted in C'est la vie! on April 23, 2010 by shava

Jean, mon cher,

It was pleasant in a way to see you while I was back visiting the Academy.  I truly wish you well, I do!

But I think it is time for us to acknowledge what is already true, yes?  I come to see you, and you are in pain.  I am une capsuliere, and you did not make the cut, and you can not live with the differences, and you can not live with me being gone.

I am truly sorry.  But it would be best for you to find a woman with two feet on the ground, and a few less stars in her eyes.  Yes, I have access to wonders, and I also pay for it on a regular basis.  It is a lonely life in many ways, one I can not really describe.  Even as we used to complain that the pilots would not share their experiences with us, I find I now can not really describe what I experience daily to you.

I can tell you it is not all good:  that having a shell of tritanium steel blown from around me and fleeing in my pod is terrifying in the moment (not yet have I been required to rely on my clone, but I shudder!).  It is not that I am not brave, but even with all the chemical soup and implants and training, so long as we are not totally machines, the terror of that moment will always grab the entrails and twist.

And, I can tell you there are things that I wish I could share.  I can not express how the feeling of extending myself into all the systems of my frigate is like growing a new amazing body, that the math is like hot sex playing in my brain as I fight, and my senses are heightened and made strange.  It is a miracle to me every day, regardless of the cost.

But in all, it makes us different, it drives us apart, and you, mon cher, are not only hurt to be parted from me, but frantic with jealousy of my ship, my life, and the stars.

Please, I wish you all happiness.  Find another sleek and fierce girl — they are out there.  And not all will become capsulieres and fly away.



Bonjours, maman!

Posted in C'est la vie! on April 15, 2010 by shava

Allo, maman!  Please send my love to all the family, and to the dogs and all the creatures of our house.  I can see you frowning, yes, because I am still and will always be off here in these big night skies, but perhaps it will comfort you a little bit, how I am missing the green land and the growing things back home.

Still, you know, this is our family contribution to the cause of freedom.  The heavens know my brothers are not suited.  Marsel with his big ham hands, he is always going to be happier digging dirt than anything.  And Fransoir is too much a scholar, and a poet.  How you hatched such a girl I do not know, but you bore a warrior maiden, and I am happy here, even if I do miss home, and even you, with your sour looks!

Since graduation I have been so far and so fast!  I am here in Gallente space, and yesterday in Caldari space, and tomorrow perhaps in Amarr space.  There is nothing beyond my reach.  And, yes, I am having those too great adventures you worry about, but I promise not to try to die too often — I would not wish to worry my maman.

There is nothing special to report.  I am spending much time with the Sisters of Eve, and I think you would find them very respectable people.  They think very little of capsuleers either.  But for me, as do you, they make an exception.

So, I must go, but I have been so far and away from Gallente space, I thought I would write you just a quick note to say I still remember you all, and I hope perhaps sometime to come see you as duty permits.  I will write ahead as soon as I know.

Your wayward daughter,